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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Psychology Gumshoe Finds Sinatra Pervert at Amazon.com
By Nicholas Stix

Brendan Martin is an Amazon.com customer-reviewer. He wrote the review below, to which I responded.

Frank Sinatra Sings for Only the Lonely

6 of 45 people found the following review helpful:

A Sinatra fan who hates sinatra ballads, February 27, 2003
By Brendan A. Martin

Pure drivel. Stick to the medium- to up-tempo Sinatra: Songs for Singin' Lovers, Ring-a-ding-ding, Come Dance with Me, A Swingin Affair, the Reprise collection. Then explore this schmaltz if you must.


I wish to thank you, Mr. Martin. I plan on using you in my new Abnormal Psychology textbook. As we in the field are now forbidden from using as examples once-classic cases such as homosexuals, bisexuals, trisexuals, transsexuals, pedophiles, drug addicts and most fetishists, we must be ever vigilant in seeking out examples that our publishers have not yet forbidden, due to their having been indexed by our activist advisory groups, the use of which would have dire political, academic, and thus, commercial consequences.

I am happy to report that the type, “person believing himself, herself, or itself to be a Sinatra fan” and to “hate[s] Sinatra ballads” has been cleared by our Legal-Political Cultural Council as perfectly fitting the bill, in joining other pathological categories such as cigarette and cigar (but not pot) smokers, conservative Christians and Jews, and Republicans.

Of course, the class “Sinatra fans” was already an authorized category, but with logical categories and subcategories having been abolished as phallocentric, it is no longer of taxonomic significance that one thing is a subset of another thing.

Again, I wish to thank you, and to wish you the best of luck in finding an appropriate therapist for your despicable perversion.

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